Today Doctor Lovelace, a politically correct agony aunt, joins GMAP from a failing gay media outlet. She offers non judgemental, non stigmatising advice to the distraught gay bareback community that the gay ill health sector have created.
Dear Dr Lovelace
I love my boyfriend dearly but I just can’t help being a liberated fabulous slut around London. I have been cheating on him with my ex-bf. Having rough bareback sex with him, snorting cocaine and other illegal drugs. I just can’t help myself and love taking it raw. I was responsible with my current bf and got a HIV test before we ditched the condoms.
We decided to use the safe sex method of trust. But 8 month into the relationship I just couldn’t help myself and went back to my ex-bf. He told me he was HIV negative, so I trusted him and went bareback. A month later he told me he had caught HIV from a pro-choice bareback club night in London. I was shocked I thought I was special to him and he would only fuck raw with me. I’m scared now I have HIV and could have passed it on to my boyfriend who I really love. What should I do?
Mickey
Dr Lovelace replies
What a rich and fulfilling gay sex life you have! Well done! Being a fabulous barebacking cumdump slut is a fantastic achievement. Don’t let anyone slut shame you! You are wonderful just the way you are!
You say your ex has told you he is HIV positive. Remember not to stigmatise him. He is in a very vulnerable state. If he has just tested positive and has a high viral load there is a good chance he has pozzed you up.
You two have just been unlucky. All gays are victims of years of social control; traumatising condom campaigns denied you pleasure and intimacy – the sex you desired through condomless sex. Don’t blame yourselves, blame the homophobic stigmatising NHS who haven’t rolled out PrEP to all gay men. You both were liberated but things could have worked out better. If you test negative or positive you can still enjoy fucking raw.
To be the best barebacking cumdump slut you can be, you really were missing a trick. You should be using PrEP “on demand” event based dosing. As you wouldn’t need PrEP daily, and plan your cheating on your boyfriend in advance, “on demand” PrEP is for you. Just take 2 pills before you bareback and cheat then 1 pill for another 2 days. Job done.
You might get an STI so its a good idea to wait a few days to see if puss comes out of your cock before having sex with your bf, or even nip to the clinic for a full STI test. Don’t forget to hide the PrEP at home or at your ex bf’s house. Due to the PrEP stigma.
Best not to tell your current boyfriend until you know for sure you are HIV positive. You don’t want to worry him unnecessarily. You need a full 4th generation HIV blood test. If positive, it’s good news as you can take ARV drugs and in no time you will be undetectable and able to bareback once again. And with anyone you wish without fear of transmission. You also live longer than HIV negative gay men, due to the constant trips to the hospital. So its win win! You may like to try fisting as fisting is fun and most gay men do it to enhance pleasure.
You don’t have to tell your bf you are poz, in my view you are under no obligation to disclose to him legally or morally. Don’t forget the unjust HIV stigma you may face. You could ask him to go back to those pleasure denying condoms until you become undetectable. There is always a chance your bf is a barebacking cumdump slut himself and it was him that pozzed you up and then you pozzed your ex up! Who knows? So suggest to him to go for a routine HIV test. No one is to blame. Don’t feel bad. Remember we are all fighting the stigma.
GMAP replies
Wow Dr Lovelace you are so politically correct! You must have been hanging around gay ill health unprofessionals for so long your judgement has been tainted. Maybe if those gay ill health organisations had promoted condoms, individual responsibility and god forbid a bit of morality neither of these gay men would be HIV positive. Hey it keeps the NHS clinics busy though with lots of tragedy and stories to tell.